The possibility of a real-life zombie invasion isn’t as far-fetched as you might think. Science has demonstrated a number of ways by which humans could turn into zombie-like creatures, such as through neurotoxins, viruses, or even nanobots. In fact, there’s an article that details five scientific reasons how the zombie apocalypse could actually happen.
But even in the worst case scenario of a zombie outbreak really taking place, I’m not too concerned. If I were a gambler placing bets on what organization would be most likely to survive the zombie apocalypse, my money would be on the Mormons.
Mormons are prepared for anything, including a zombie apocalypse
Sadly, this will probably never happen during General Conference. (Image courtesy of Mormon Memes)
Emergency preparation is highly emphasized in the Mormon Church. The Mormons believe that careful preparation, both spiritual and temporal, helps us overcome fear and confidently react to any possible disaster. These principles of emergency preparation can easily apply to Mormons that need to fend off a zombie onslaught. Through following the teachings of modern-day Prophets, the LDS church and its members are well prepared to face the zombie horde. Let’s examine the following points:
Mormons decisively respond to disasters
It’s well documented that the Mormon Church is exceptional at mobilizing its resources and quickly responding to disasters. Usually within hours of a catastrophe taking place, church officials are able to rally a volunteer and relief force in the local area. This same level of organization is represented in every single Mormon congregation.
Each Mormon congregation has a personalized emergency plan for natural and manmade disasters. Guidelines for this emergency plan include consideration of alternative means of communication, relationships with civil authorities, and awareness of which church members have equipment or skills that would be critical in a disaster. These emergency plans are periodically updated by local church leaders.
Because of this level of preparation, the local Bishop (leader of a Mormon congregation), will likely know which church members are well armed and ready to push back against the zombies. As demonstrated in Idaho and Utah, there are plenty of church members who believe in exercising their right to the 2nd Amendment. Any zombie horde that tries to storm the local LDS meetinghouse will probably march into the path of a well-orchestrated firing squad.
Bishop Hendrix is ready for the zombie apocalypse. Michonne would approve. (Image courtesy of Mormon Memes, credit Ross Luzzader)
Alternatively, if the local church members are anything like Bishop Kent Hendrix, who used his trusty samurai sword to drive off a mugger, there’s going to be a lot of decapitated zombies. As demonstrated by Michonne, the warrior woman from The Walking Dead, a sword can be a lethal weapon against zombies in the right hands. Either way, through bullets or by the blade, the Mormon militia will make short work of any zombie incursion.
It’s clear that the Mormon Church has exceptional foresight in preparing for the worst case scenario. In fact, for all we know, the Mormon Church has an emergency plan specifically designed for a zombie outbreak. In any case, the ability of Mormons to quickly mobilize will give them a critical advantage in reacting to a zombie invasion.
Mormons are self-reliant
The concepts of self-reliance and personal preparation are extremely important to Mormons. On a regular basis, church leaders teach these concepts from the pulpit and during regular church meetings. Mormons are encouraged to build up financial reserves, store medication/first aid supplies, and stockpile other essential items that will be critical if a disaster occurs.
Through personal preparation, church members are able to provide for themselves and help others during an emergency. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, many Mormons won’t need to wait for the government or other relief organizations to provide emergency supplies. This places members of the church in a favorable position to assist in evacuation efforts or help civic authorities push back against the zombie hordes.
Mormons are the masters of food storage
Food storage will prepare us to outlast the zombie horde.
Members of the church are encouraged to build up a year’s supply of food and water. More specifically, Mormons are counseled to gather a three month supply of food they normally eat and a longer-term supply of food with a longer shelf life, such as rice, wheat, and corn. Growing up, I would often question why we needed an entire year’s worth of food since we lived in a first-world country. Now that I’m older and wiser, I believe the only rational explanation must be zombies.
Although it may take a little time to organize your food storage, if a zombie apocalypse takes place, you’ll be grateful you made the investment. Plus, in the very rare occasion that you run into a vegetarian zombie, you can feed them graaaiiiinnnns. (Bad joke. Or depending on what you feed the zombie, a corny joke. You saw what I did there).
Mormons are incredibly resourceful
In a post-apocalyptic world, supplies will be limited and survivors will need to become self-sufficient with little resources. Mormons will rise to this challenge because they have a rich history of flourishing despite having scarce resources to work with. The early Mormon pioneers that migrated to Utah settled in a desert that had little to offer. Yet through ingenuity and resourcefulness, the pioneers found a way to make the desert “blossom as a rose.”
Even though it’s been nearly two hundred years since the Mormon pioneers, a culture of resourcefulness still permeates Mormon culture. Church members are taught to be thrifty and look for innovative ways to make do with less. The lessons learned from the early pioneers can be easily applied by Mormons trying to survive in a world overrun by zombies.
Find a way to cook a gourmet meal with only the ingredients from food storage?
Create zombie slaying weapons with only random and seemingly ordinary household items?
Find a way to entertain the group without TV, video games, and other traditional entertainment?
Mormons are spiritually and emotionally resilient
If you manage to survive the first few waves of zombies, you also need to be ready for the psychological challenges of living in a post-apocalyptic zombie world. It will be essential for you to keep your spirits up as you get through the dark days ahead. If you ever get trapped somewhere surrounded by zombies and need to hunker down, you’ll benefit from having a Mormon at your side.
Mormons are generally stable and well-adjusted people. They are taught to be self-reliant, yet have a strong sense of community loyalty that will serve your group of survivors well. Plus, Mormons know how to get through tough times. In the early days of the church, Mormons were hunted and driven from place to place. Despite this, Mormons not only survived, but eventually thrived despite having the odds heavily stacked against them. One of the secrets to their success was having an incredible attitude of faith and perseverance.
The quintessential Mormon will be able to slay zombies while singing traditional church hymns about hard work such as, “Put Your Shoulder To the Wheel” and “Let Us All Press On.” Mormons will overcome the challenges of living in a post zombie-apocalyptic world because they know that true happiness, peace, and purpose in life is based on internal, not external factors. Having a Mormon’s cheerful, tough-as-nails optimism and perspective on life will help you survive the zombie onslaught without losing your sanity.
Worthy Mormon men can use the priesthood – the authority to act in God’s name
The priesthood is the power and authority to act in God’s name. In biblical times, the priesthood was used to govern the church and perform miracles such as healing the sick. This power was temporarily lost after the original Apostles were martyred, but it was restored and is used in the LDS Church today.
Because the priesthood is the power of God, it can only be used by worthy LDS males. This is why the church heavily emphasizes the importance of personal worthiness. During a disaster where medical supplies and personnel are limited, the righteous use of priesthood power could mean the difference between life and death. In the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse, worthy Mormon men will be able to work miracles through the power of their priesthood.
Mormons are taught to further their education and develop practical vocational skills
The Mormon Church places a strong emphasis on the importance of education and vocational training. Consequently, because most Mormons have useful skills, this makes them valuable members of any group of survivors. After all, nearly anyone can learn how to bludgeon a zombie or shoot a rifle – in contrast, people with specific training and skill sets will be more difficult to find.
Also important, when the zombies are eventually eradicated, the world needs well-trained and educated people to help put society back together. The survivors with an education and practical vocational skills will be valued and rewarded appropriately. Obtaining an education and gaining vocational skills is an investment that ultimately pays off – even in a world overrun by zombies.
So what now?
If you’re Mormon and you’ve prepared yourself, congratulations. You will likely be the first person your friends turn to when the inevitable zombie onslaught begins.
If you’re Mormon and you haven’t heeded the inspired counsel of the living Prophet, now would be a good time to prepare yourself. Remember what it says in Doctrine and Covenants 38:30 – “If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.”
If you’re not Mormon, it’s a good idea to make friends with one. As demonstrated in this article, Mormons are among the most prepared people to survive the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse.
President Thomas S. Monson
It’s important to note that Mormons are well prepared because of the teachings of modern Prophets. Just like Prophets in the Bible warned people of impending calamities, we have the blessing of a modern Prophet today to guide us and help us prepare for the future. The living Prophet today is President Thomas S. Monson and I have a personal testimony that following his teachings will protect us from zombies and the many other dangers that surround us and our families.
If you want to learn more about the role of a Prophet, click here.
If you want to learn more about how members of the Mormon Church prepare for zombies and other potential disasters, click here.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to shamble back to working on my food storage.
*Thank you to Mormon Memes for allowing me to use their memes for this blog post!